Maybe...Just Maybe

A thought just came to my mind. Maybe I'm afraid to let people get close to me. Maybe I want to be alone? No...maybe I'm just stupid. I always push the ones I really care about away before they get to close. I hurt myself before they hurt me more. I use unbuttered real honest truth with the ones I really really care about and I think it freaks 'em out. I ask too many questions apparently. But I don't understand how they can have so many on-the-surface-feel-good friends and conversations and when they get offered some meat they shove it away. Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong...I always want to understand. *sigh* My blessing and my curse.