If you could see what I see

Sometimes I wish I could help you more. You cry and cry and tell me how you're sick of your life..you want to get away..you want to change. I let you cry in my arms and tell me everything you're thinking. I try to help you see what you really are..I just wish you could see past your broken mirror. I wish I could take your pain away and give you confidence...but I can't. I can tell you everything you are and how beautiful you are and help you get back on your feet. But I can't pull you out of your hole by myself. You have to want it too. Really really want it. I could tell you all the things that would help you lift up your situation but it won't matter unless you actually do something about it. No more feeling sorry for yourself. It hurts me to see you like this...but there's not much I can do. I just wish you could see what I see.

yikes..well this weekend made me realize how much i miss those kids.

I used to be a leader in my churches youth group (aka core team)..andddddd last year I kinda decided that I didnt want to do it anymore…cuzzzzz i was and still kinda am going through a self evaluation i guess it would be called? Basically just trying to figure out what the heck i’m doing. So I quit the youth group thing…changed jobs, got promoted started doing what i love at school…anddddd then randomly, the youth minister texts me, “yo would you be able to photograph our retreat next month?” I’m just like ohhhhhh ummmmm yea sure. It’d be good for me to practice some photography, help out with a portfolio i suppose? As it came closer to the time…I started to regret saying yes cuz I’ve kinda been running away from God…..still working on that one…andddd i havent seen these people in a longgggggg time and i thought it might be a lil awkward…butttttt for some reason i just told myself to get over it and try to get off work and go to the retreat with them. It was surprisingly easy to get off work..I didn’t even have to pay or beg anyone. lol literally. Soo i went…

Those kids are pretty much awesome. I have missed being with them…I have sooo much I wanna share with them and learn from them. I really wanna jump back into doing stuff with youth…just now I dont know when i can…they have their thing on sunday nights but i have to work sunday nights……and making these films pretty much is a lifestyle. It’s very very VERY time consuming. I’ve always been into helping youth though..i want to help them and share with them everything i know. I wanna be there for them. …I guess for now I just gotta wait and see how things pan out